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The Gayle Tales

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''The Gayle Tales''
Season 5, Episode 13
Production Code: 5ASA01
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Written by
Lizzie Molyneux
Wendy Molyneux
Directed by
Ian Hamilton
TV Rating - TV PG DLV
First Aired: March 1, 2015
List of Season 5 Episodes
"The Millie-Churian Candidate"
"Li'l Hard Dad"

The Gayle Tales is thirteenth episode in Season 5, being the eightieth episode overall.


Gayle arrives at Bob's Burgers in tears because her date for the evening Stacy canceled and she had theater tickets to see “Yarnival”. Desperate to get out of the house after being grounded for a reason Linda is reluctant to say, the kids compete to be Aunt Gayle's "date" for the evening via an essay contest.

"The Ballad of Gayle and Jo-Gene"

Gene writes a story about him and Linda being a country western duo called Lindette and Jo-Gene. They are playing a show where Lou Belchera (Louise), a Hollywood singing agent is in attendance. After the show Lou offers to manage Lindette as a solo artist.

Jo-Gene encounters Gayle singing while working as a waitress in a Soda Bar and teams up with her to form a new duo as Gayle and Jo-Gene. They win the competition and Belchera takes them on and takes them to Hollywood to see the Hollywood sign and meet Scott Bakula. Lindette ends up marrying the drunk in the Soda Bar (Bob).

"Lady Chatter-teeth’s Lover"

Tina writes a romantic story about the Chatter-teeth sisters Gayle, Tina, Eugenia (Gene) and Louisa (Louise). Tina longs to marry Lord Jimmy, Jr. but according to the law of the land, she can’t do so until Gayle marries first. Tina attempts to find Gayle a match but can only think of Theodore the blacksmith (Teddy).

Then Sir Bob Belcher, Lord and heir of the Belcher Burger fortune shows up and the sisters offer Gayle up to him. Linda briefly interrupts the story not wanting Gayle to be married off to Bob.

The night of the ball arrives and everyone from the town is there, Bob and Gayle dance all evening but Linda appears as Sir Bob’s loud, rude, American wife-to-be that he is only marrying for money. This causes Gayle to fall deathly ill with pooping cough. They call the vicar around to give her the last rites who happens to be Scott Bakula. This makes Gayle all better and they Quantum Leap into the future to the day of the double wedding of Gayle and Scott Bakula and Tina and Lord Jimmy, Jr.. Bob and Linda also have a baby but it was born with a tail because they were cousins. This leads to Linda to iterate that he and Linda are not cousins that they know of.

"Gayle of Thrones"

Louise writes a story based on the TV series "Game of Thrones" set in "Catsteros" (a parody of Westeros). Gayle is Queen of Catsteros who is receiving an official visit from Litter-boxia on behalf of her sister Lindaryen (Linda). Tina presents her with Gene from the House of the Unfarting a Warlock with disappearing powers which he uses to steal her cat dragons (Jean Pawed Van Damme, Pinkeye and Mr. Business).

Gayle sets out on a quest with the bravest knight, Knight Louise to find the cat dragons. Along the way they get held prisoner three times. Eventually they arrive at Litter-Boxia where there are white talkers everywhere (Multiple Teddy’s telling boring stories that will send anyone into a sleep-like state). They arrive at the castle and challenge Lindaryen to a duel to the death. Lindaryen unleashes the Mort-ain (Mort) to fight in the duel but Louise succeeds by slapping him with her Burgarean Sword and making him fall into the pit of ravenous porcelain babies.

Bobdor (Bob) who is Lindaryen's fool is insulted when Lindaryen mentions that she should get a new fool as he isn’t skinny or hot, this causes him to throw Lindaryen into the pit. The cats are rescued and they fly home on them. Scott Bakula suddenly appears and Gayle falls for him. Bobdor realizes he’s a third wheel in all this and throws himself off the cat dragon.


Gayle is impressed with all three of the kids’ stories. They make her feel that she is talented and wonderful and that she doesn’t need Stacy. Then Stacy walks in offering to go on the date as his emergency canceled, they go out on the date. The kids are frustrated that they are still grounded.

We then reveal that the kids were grounded for pulling a prank on Linda at the supermarket where Tina and Louise got her to open the ice cream freezer while Gene grabbed her legs. This caused her to fall over into a pile of maxi-pads and fart. Linda doesn't see the funny side of things as she had to buy all the maxi-pads and farted again when she had her bags handed back.

Linda eventually agrees that it was funny and that they are grounded for the evening while Linda watches over them in the apartment. They leave the restaurant to do so and Bob is upset that they all left before closing time. Bob says "I should’ve gone with Gayle".

Episode Navigation vte
Season Episodes
0 The Demo
1 Human FleshCrawl SpaceSacred CowSexy Dance FightingHamburger Dinner TheaterSheesh! Cab, Bob?Bed & BreakfastArt CrawlSpaghetti Western and MeatballsBurger WarWeekend at Mort'sLobsterfestTorpedo
2 The BelchiesBob Day AfternoonSynchronized SwimmingBurgerbossFood Truckin'Dr. YapMoody FoodieBad TinaBeefsquatch
3 Ear-Sy RiderFull BarsBob Fires the KidsMutiny on the WindbreakerAn Indecent Thanksgiving ProposalThe DeepeningTina-Rannosaurus WrecksThe Unbearable Like-Likeness of GeneGod Rest Ye Merry Gentle-MannequinsMother Daughter Laser RazorNude BeachBroadcast Wagstaff School NewsMy Fuzzy ValentineLindapendent WomanO.T. The Outside ToiletTopsyTwo for TinaIt Snakes a VillageFamily FracasThe Kids Run the RestaurantBoyz 4 NowCarpe MuseumThe Unnatural
4 A River Runs Through BobFort NightSeaplane!My Big Fat Greek BobTurkey in a CanPurple Rain-UnionBob and DeliverChristmas in the CarSlumber PartyPresto Tina-OEasy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercialThe Frond FilesMazel TinaUncle TeddyThe Kids Rob a TrainI Get Psy-chic Out of YouThe EquestranautsAmbergrisThe Kids Run AwayGene It OnWharf Horse (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part I)World Wharf II: The Wharfening (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part II)
5 Work Hard or Die Trying, GirlTina and the Real GhostFriends with Burger-fitsDawn of the PeckBest BurgerFather of the BobTina Tailor Soldier SpyMidday RunSpeakeasy RiderLate Afternoon in the Garden of Bob & LouiseCan't Buy Me MathThe Millie-Churian CandidateThe Gayle TalesLi'l Hard DadAdventures in Chinchilla-SittingThe Runway ClubThe Itty Bitty Ditty CommitteeEat, Spray, LindaHousetrapHawk & ChickThe Oeder Games
6 Sliding BobsThe Land ShipThe HaunteningGayle Makin' Bob Sled · Nice-Capades · The Cook, The Steve, The Gayle, & Her LoverThe Gene and Courtney ShowSexy Dance HealingSacred CouchLice Things Are LiceHouse of 1000 BouncesStand by GeneWag the HogThe Hormone-iumsPro Tiki/Con TikiBye Bye Boo BooThe Horse Rider-erSecret Admiral-irerGlued, Where's My Bob?
7 Flu-ouiseSea Me NowTeen-a WitchThey Serve Horses, Don't They?Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?The QuirkducersThe Last Gingerbread House on the LeftEx MachTinaBob ActuallyThere's No Business Like Mr. Business BusinessA Few 'Gurt MenLike Gene for ChocolateThe Grand Mama-pest HotelAquaticismAin't Miss Debatin'Eggs for Days
8 Brunchsquatch
Unknown season Zero LARP ThirtyThe Laser-inthThelma & Louise Except Thelma is LindaMom, Lies, and VideotapeParaders of the Lost FloatInto the MildThe Wolf of Wharf StreetSit Me Baby One More TimeThe Silence of the LouiseCheer Up Sleepy GeneBoywatchY Tu Ga-Ga TambienThe Taking of Funtime One Two ThreeThanks-HoardingThe BleakeningThe Date EscapeThe Secret Ceramics Room of Secrets
See also: Episode Guide

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