Original Songs
Season 1
Pirates of Panache
Cast of "Pirates of Panache" - Hamburger Dinner Theater
We drink, we loot, we rape, we shoot
We sing, we dance, we twirl, we prance
We're the Pirates of Panache
I Can't Stop
Linda Belcher and the robber - Hamburger Dinner Theater
(Linda:) You've got your money, now be on your way?
(Robber:) Maybe I'll leave, and maybe I'll stay
Maybe it's the limelight, could be the singin'
(Linda:) 911 should be a-ringin'
(Robber:) But I can't stop
(Linda:) And neither can I
Sing in Key
Bob and Linda Belcher - Hamburger Dinner Theater
(Bob:) So I'm singin' words to a song I'm making up right now
(Linda:) 'Cause it's the singing that matters and not the song
(Bob:) So it's up to me
(Linda:) To
(Bob:) Sing
(Linda:) In
(Bob:) [High-pitched] Key
(Linda:) [attempting to harmonize with Bob] Key
(Bob:) -Ee
(Linda:) -Ee
Lifting Up the Skirt of the Night
Unknown - Sheesh! Cab, Bob?
Lifting up the skirt of the night
Look down, feel around, do what I do to get by (Hold up, hold on now)
Pulling down the pants of the night (Look at those tight pants)
Don't laugh, it's not right, to make fun of the night
I Look At You
Unknown - Art Crawl
I look at you, I see in you
I see what's inside you
Butts, Butts, Butts
Unknown - Art Crawl
Butts, butts, butts, butts
Butts, butts, butts, butts
Our butts, our butts Our butts are beautiful
Butts, our butts, our butts are beautiful
Butts, our butts, our butts are beautiful
Butts, butts, butts
"Banjo" theme
Unknown - Spaghetti Western and Meatballs
Banjo, Banjo
Doesn't play it for fun, he's just hiding his gun
Banjo, Banjo
His chaps made of leather, even in hot weather
Banjo (He's comin', gunnin' for ya)
Banjo (He's comin', strummin' for ya)
You can try to talk, but he don't give a pluck
Banjo (He's comin', gunnin' for ya)
Banjo (He's comin', strummin' for ya)
He's strumming for you
Three Sides Don't Make A Square
Gene, Linda and Bob Belcher - Burger Wars
(Gene:) Da-ding-ding
- Repeat several times*
Da-ding-ding-dong
a-dinga-a-dinga-a-dinga-a-ding
a-dinga-a-dinga-a-DOONG!
(Linda:) A ding-dong
Bobby go!
C'mon Bob, show us your ding-ding!
(Bob:) Ding-ding
Da-ding-ding
DADADADADADADADA-DING!
Weekend at Mort's
The Belcher Family - Weekend at Mort's
Weekend at Mort's
We're gonna have a weekend at Mort's
(Louise only) Uh! Uh! Uh!
Weekend at Mort's
We're gonna have a weekend at Mort's
Ziti Tonight
Jimmy Pesto - Weekend at Mort's
Try da ziti tonight
Oh, yeah it's on da special tonight
Oh look at...
Cannoli
Jimmy Pesto - Weekend at Mort's
Come on, everybody, Try our dessert
You gotta have a cannoli
Wingman
Wingman, flying with the eagles
Wingman, he's trying to help you out
Wingman
Wingman
Wingman
Wingman
Wingman
Season 2
Taffy Butt
Cyndi Lauper - The Belchies
Teddy was right about the treasure In the butt
The next day you will see Taff is washed up on the beach
And, oh, my God, is that a gold bar?
The wave just washed him out far The kids didn't look close enough In the taffy butt.
You have a taffy butt.
There's treasure in that butt.
I want that taffy butt.
Ay yi yi yi yi!
Taffy butt.
It's such a... taffy butt!
There's gold there in that butt.
Give me some taffy butt. Ay yi yi yi yi! Taffy butt.
Oh, I want the taffy butt.
Give me, give me, Give me some taffy butt.
Ay yi yi yi yi!
Headin' Out of P.E.
Unknown - Synchronized Swimming
Headin' out of P.E.
Gives us time to play on the street
First we lied to Mr. Frond
Now we're in a nail salon
Groping for Glory
Unknown - Burgerboss
Close to the top!
Groping for glory, yeah
Sometimes in life you just gotta say, I don't give a damn, Ha-ha!
Groping the night away, yeah
Shoot your arrow in the sky
Tell the gods you'll never die
You're a real special guy
The towel's there, but don't throw it in
If you do, you cannot win
That's how rules work
Crawl up the mountain on hands and knees
It's stained with the blood of your enemies
Groping for glory
Sailing
Unknown - Burgerboss
La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, sailing
La, la, la, la, la, la
La, la, la, la, sailing
La, la, la, la, la, la
S-S-S-S Sailing
Meet Me on the Road
Unknown - Food Truckin'
Meet me on the road, hauling quite a load
Taking lots of drugs, I don't know what
A-peein' in a jug, gettin' rest stop tugs
Might've hit a man, but didn't stop.
Oil Spill
Tabitha Johansson - Food Truckin'
Oh, it's hot and wet and slick
And it's making everybody sick
Oil spill
It's on the fish, it's on the crabs
Foul so close when you can grab this
Oil spill
Oil spill
Oil spill
Bad Girls
Unknown - Bad Tina, St. Vincent - Bob's Buskers link, (bold denotes parts only sung in episode)
Bad girls don't like to go to Dog Prom
and bad girls don't wanna pay for lip balm
I don't wanna be this bad
I don't wanna be this bad
Bad girls make mean announcements at lunch
and bad girls think that you're being a boob punch
I don't wanna be this bad
I don't wanna be this bad
Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Bad girls like to fight with their moms
and bad girls don't use pads as tampons
I don't wanna be this bad
I don't wanna be this bad
Bad girls don't wanna go to college
and bad girls rip off all your doll's heads
I don't wanna be this bad
I don't wanna be this bad
Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
(spoken:) I was always the good girl, but then I fell in with the wrong crowd. Now I'm mouthing off to my mom and skipping school. Are the boys and their cute butts really worth all this? WATCHOUT!!!!
(sung:) Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!
Season 3
Candy!
Unknown - Full Bars
Candy!
candycandycandycandycandycandycandycandycandycandy
Candy! Candy!
Candy! Candy!
Candy! Candy!
Candy!
Cooper's Work Song
Well, we work and we work and we work all day
Work, work, work in America, work
And we're workin' in the weeds and American work
And workin' in the weeds and a work, work, work
And worky-work-work, and come on, Gene
Pick up the pace, come on, buddy, there we go
Ocean Lady
Unknown - Mutiny on the Windbreaker
Ooh-ooh-ooh
Sexy lady, ocean lady
Pass The Cranberry Sauce
Linda - An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal
Pass the cranberry sauce, we're having mashed potatoes!
Oh the turkey looks great
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for being there
Thank you for loving me
Everyone's thankin'
The whole world's thankin' you
Thankin' us for thankin' you
Kill the turkey
Diarrhea
Linda - Tina-Rannosaurus Wrecks
Running down the gutter with a piece of bread and butter
Diarrhea *two raspberries*, diarrhea *two raspberries*
Running down the gutter with a piece of bread and butter
Diarrhea *two raspberries*, diarrhea *two raspberries*
Some people think it's funny but it's really wet and runny
Diarrhea *two raspberries*, diarrhea *two raspberries*
Sorry we're late. Bob had diarrhea!
- Laughs*
What?
(Gene (spoken):) I love you mom.
Pip's Potato Chips Jingle
Doug Wheeler - The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene
Pop in a Pip's POP! potato chips CRUNCH!
Bob's Burgers Jingle
Gene - The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene
Have a feast,
For your face,
Have a burger at Bald Bob's!
Mort's Jingle
Gene & Mort - The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene
If you got yourself a stiff
Don't dump it in a ditch
Take your corpse to Mort's
(Mort:) THAT'S ME!
Break up with Courtney Song
Louise - The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene
Told you to break up with Courtney
and you didn't listen
and now you're stuck with her forever
SO SUCK IT!
Big Old Buns
Doug Wheeler - The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum
Blazing beef, and big old buns!
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-BUN-BUN!
Bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum-bum BUN-BUN!
Linda and Louise Switch Roles
Linda and Louise - Mother Daughter Laser Razor
(Louise (spoken):) Hello, I'm Linda
(sung:) And I want you to, clean your room
So I'm singing this song, and I...
(Linda:) But I'm not gonna clean my room, la-la la-la la-la
(Louise:) Oh, you better clean your room 'cause I'm singing this song
And you're gonna clean your room!
(Linda:) I will never clean my room 'cause I'm so rebellious!
No, I'm not gonna stop!
Harry Truman
Linda - Mother Daughter Laser Razor
Here goes the hair and there goes the hair
And where is Harry Truman?
He's dead in the ground, he's dead in the ground
He’s dead, dead, dead, dead, dead!
I'm Good At Sex
I'm a bad man with a master plan and the ladies call me Tex
And the one thing all the ladies know is I'm good at having uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex
I leave my shirt on, that's okay, don't make me feel self-conscious, babe
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex
When you're done say that was fun, we might've made a little son
I'm good at sex You're bad at sex, I'm good at sex, you're bad at sex I'm good at sex, you're bad at sex I'm good at sex, you're bad at sex, I'm good at sex, you're bad at sex I'm good at sex, you're bad at se....
Elderly Prostitute
Gene - Nude Beach
Da, da, da, da, da, elderly prostitute
Da, da, da, boo, ba, elderly prostitute
Daddy
Tommy Jaronda - Nude Beach
Daddy! You abandoned me!
Daddy! You sold drugs to me!
Punches are not hugs to me!
Daddy! You're my enemy!
My enemy!
My enemy!
My enemy!
My enemy!
You, you, you!
Itsy-Bitsy Stripper
Tommy Jaronda - Nude Beach
The Itsy-Bitsy Stripper climbed up the brassy pole
Down came her legs and wrapped around my soul
Weave your web of your sexy web weave your sexy web around me
Weave your web, weave your naughty web
Around my body, my beautiful body
My beautiful legs, my beautiful torso
Weave that web around me
I'm Good At Sex (reprise)
Tommy Jaronda - Nude Beach
I'm a bad man with a master plan and the ladies call me Tex
And the one thing all the ladies know is I'm good at having uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh
sex-sex-sex-sex-sex-sex-sex
I'm good at sex, I'm good at sex
I'm very, very, very, very good at sex
I am good, you are good, too
You're learning, little by little
I'm guiding you with my hand and my arms
I'm good at sex, you're learning quick
Buckle It Up
Bob, Tina, Gene, and Louise - My Fuzzy Valentine
Buckle It Up,
Buckle It Up.
Buckle It Up, Or You'll Die!!!
Two People
Linda Belcher - My Fuzzy Valentine
Two people,
Together forever,
Security in life
Someone to love ya,
Instead of being all alone,
Such a lonely existence - I'd kill myself!
Love Mission
Unknown - My Fuzzy Valentine
Falafel (We're on a love mission)
Pizza (We're on a love mission)
All the rest (We're on a love mission)
Disco Minute
Unknown - Lindapendent Woman
You're in a dancing mood
And you're looking good
So come on, let's go!
The disco bumping
And I'm feeling something
Moving down below.
Oh, I can't get enough of your warming stuff
Oh, I can't get enough of your warming, your warming
Your warming, warming stuff!
First Day On the Job
Linda - Lindapendent Woman
I'm so freaking excited About my first day on the job
Yeah!
Linda Stocked Corn
Linda - Lindapendent Woman
Linda stocked corn and she don't care
Linda stocked corn and she don't care
Linda stocked corn and she don't care
'Cause she's also got diced tomatoes. Whoo!
This is Working
Linda and Bob Belcher - Lindapendent Woman
(Linda:) Look at me I'm wrangling these carts, on my own
(Bob:) Look at me I'm chopping up this lettuce, all alone
(Linda:) I'm at work and you can hear me sing
(Both:) This is working, this is working
(Linda:) Look at me I'm sitting in this thing, is it on? ((Bob:)Grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind, grind)
(Bob:) Look at me I've barely even noticed that she's gone ((Linda:) La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la)
(Linda:) Mommy is at work and you can hear me sing ((Bob:) Someone threw up In the bathroom sink)
(Both:) This is working, this is working
Funky Finger
Unknown - Lindapendent Woman
Who got the funky finger? (x9)
Electric Love
Calvin Fischoeder and Gayle - Topsy
(Fischoeder:) They say Thomas Edison, he's the man to get us
Into this century, and that man is me
(Gayle:) They'll say "Aw, Topsy!" at my autopsy
And no one could be, more shocked than me
(Fischoeder:)But I never noticed the curve of her trunk
(Gayle:) And I never noticed his electric junk
(Both:) We might just have found
Electric love
Electric love
Electric love
Electric love
((Choir:)First he wanted to kill her off, now they've found an electric love)
Electric love
(First he wanted to kill her off, now they've found an electric love)
Fits like a glove
T.I.N.A.
Jimmy Pesto, Jr. - Two for Tina
T is for the way you take my breath away
I is for the way I like it when you take my breath away
N is for no one else takes my breath away
and A is for Asthma that is a disease that takes people's breath away!
Going to Florida
Going to Florida
Going to Florida
Sunshiney, Florida now-ow
Going to Florida
Florida, Florida
Everyone's going somehow
Going to Florida
Tropical Florida
Manatees Florida now.
Dirty Ducks
Unknown - It Snakes a Village
Dirty ducks (Dirty ducks)
Dirty ducks (Quack, quack)
Gene's Snake Song
I'm not afraid of ghosts
I'm not afraid of sharks
I'm not afraid of cancer
I'm just afraid of snakes
They really creep me out
Where are their arms and legs?
It's not okay!
Fracas Foam
Unknown - Family Fracas
Pizza game, talking trash
Spinning the wheel
Fracas foam, get foamed at home
There's Jimmy Pesto, he's so mad
Fracas foam, get foamed at home
Jimmy's so mad
No minivan for you
Girls Being Girls
Gene - The Kids Run the Restaurant
Girls, being girls, being girls, being girls, girl group
The Kids Run the Restaurant
Linda - The Kids Run the Restaurant
(spoken:) Hit it.
Oh, he did.
(sung:) When Bob sees blood and screams and passes out
Then Mr. Fisch checks in and cashes out
What more do you want when kids run the restaurant?
(spoken:) Hey, sailor.
Ooh, nice pants.
(sung:) Marshmallow played a game of Surgery Sam
And all this 'cause Bob cut his hand
What more do you want when kids run the restaurant?
Coal Mine
(Allen:) I'm mining the cave for love
(Boo Boo:) Don't care about the world above
(Griffin:) Down here it's dark and cold
(Matt:) I'm just looking for a nugget of gold
(Griffin:) My hat is hard but my heart is soft
(Matt:) It's dusty down here and so I cough
(All:) It's a dirty job but I ain't stoppin'
(Griffin:) I know I'm breathin' toxins but you're lookin' foxin'
(Allen:) Will you be mine?
(All:) Coal mine
(Allen:) Will you be mine?
(All:) Diamond...
Details
Boo Boo - Boyz 4 Now
I want to hear your secrets, I'm so interested in you
What did you have for lunch today? Tell me breakfast, too
Which friend are you mad at, girl? What size are your shoes?
You just went to the bathroom, number one or number two?
I want to know everything, everything about you
I want to hear your secrets I'm so interested in you
Even if it's not a secret Tell me that stuff, too
Details, I want to know details, what's your dad's name?
Details, and your mom's
Details, any allergies?
Details, how was prom?
Interesting, so interesting.
Whisper In Your Eyes
Boo Boo - Boyz 4 Now
I need to show you a secret, it's gonna be a surprise
Come a little bit closer, let me whisper in your eyes
When I whisper in your eyes, don't think, don't blink
Hey, girl, shh, shush
Close your lips and open your eyes
I want your eyes to hear my lips and also my eyes...
Tell Me About Every Single Time You've Cried
Boo Boo - Boyz 4 Now
Tell me About every single time you've cried
The first time, oh, when your goldfish died
Big Boy Head to Feet
Boyz4Now - Boyz 4 Now
(Matt, Griffin, Allen:) Gettin' into your booster seat
From your big boy head to your big boy feet
Gettin' into your booster seat
From your big boy head to your big boy feet
(Boo Boo:) From my big boy head to my big boy feet
Linda's chanting remix
Linda, boys, girls - Carpe Museum
(Linda:) Boom, chaka, boom, chaka, boom, boom, boom
(Boys and Girls:) Boom, chaka, boom, chaka, boom, boom, boom
(Linda:) Weeda, weeda, weina, weina, weina, wang
(Boys and Girls:) Weeda, weeda, weina, weina, weina, wang
(Linda:) Boys are from Mars,
Girls are from Venus,
I've got a yum-yum, you've got a penis
(Boys:)Boys are from Mars
(Girls:) Girls are from Venus
(Boys and Girls:) I've got a yum-yum, you've got a penis
(Linda:) Boom, chaka, boom, chaka, wang
(Boys and Girls:) Boom, chaka, boom, chaka, wang
(Linda:) Weeda, weeda, weina, boom, boom, boom
(Boys and Girls:) Weeda, weeda, weina, boom, boom, boom
(Linda:) Chaka, weina, wang, weina, chaka, weina
(Boys and Girls:) Chaka, weina, wang, weina, chaka, weina
(Linda:) Boom, chaka, wang, weina, boom, boom
(Boys and Girls:) Boom, chaka, wang, weina, boom, boom
(Linda:) Shake your hips, wiggle your butt Drop your pants, pick 'em back up
Weeda, weeda, weina, chaka, weeda, weeda, weina, chaka Weeda, weeda, weina, chaka, weeda, weeda
It's Electric
Unknown, Tina - The Unnatural
You can't see it It's electric!
(Tina:) Boogie woogie woogie
You gotta feel it It's electric!
Ooh, it's shakin' It's electric!
(Tina:) Boogie woogie woogie
????????????????????? She sure got the boogie
Now you can't hold it It's electric!
(Tina:) Boogie woogie woogie
Season 4
Kids, We're Coming For You
Unknown - A River Runs Through Bob
Kids, we're coming for you
Underwear, flying in the air
We're coming for you, now we're falling
We're snacking and tubing and laughing and splashing and craaaaaaaaawling
Thundergirls skit song
Thundergirls troop leader and Thundergirls - A River Runs Through Bob
Rain, rain
flash, flash
Thundergirls wear a Thunder, uhh, sash.
Tina's Thundergirl Song
Tina Belcher - A River Runs Through Bob
(Sample from Thundergirls skit song)
Honor, friendship, trust, integrity
french braids, sunscreen, skits and jellybeans (repeat sample)
Tundergirls are vowed to sing this song of nature, friends and things.
(spoken:) I'll be a thundergirl, till I'm six feet under-girl, uhh, that's right, I'll be a Th...
Candy Randy
Unknown - Fort Night
Who's that guy?
He knows all the sweets
Who's that guy?
He mapped out the streets
Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandy
Raaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaandy
It's my favorite blog
Just don't tell my mom.
Quickie Kiss It
Unknown - Seaplane!
Quicky Kiss-it
Quicky Kiss-it
Quicky Kiss-it
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah
Quicky Kiss-it
Whoo! Quicky Kiss-it
She's kissin', she's kissin'
She's kissin' so quick
Quicky Kiss-it
Ooh! Quicky Kiss-it
Uh-huh, Quicky Kiss-it Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah
Quicky Kiss-it, Uh-huh, Quicky Kiss-it Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah
Sneaky Pete
Unknown - My Big Fat Greek Bob
He is freaky, freaky, freaky Sneaky Pete
He's unique-y, nique-y, nique-y Sneaky Pete
Make you shrieky, shrieky, shrieky Sneaky Pete
Ah-ah, Sneaky Sneaky Pete
He is freaky, freaky, freaky Sneaky Pete
He's unique-y, nique-y, nique-y Sneaky Pete
Make you shrieky, shrieky, shrieky Sneaky Pete.
Sailors in Your Mouth
Gayle and Linda - Turkey in a Can
(Gayle:) A-ding, a-ding
(Linda:) A-what's that sound?
(Gayle:) It's the gravy boat
(Gayle and Linda:) A-comin' around
(Gayle:) It's not a navy boat
(Linda:) It's the gravy boat
(Gayle and Linda:) Filled with bravery, savory, sailor folk
(Gayle:) Stuffing sailors, disembark
(Gayle and Linda:) Fill our plates and fill our hearts
Sailors in your mouth, sailors in your mouth
That's what Thanksgiving is all about.
We're the Ta Ta's
The Ta Tas - Purple Rain-Union
We're the Ta-Ta's and we're gonna rock ya
We like to cha-cha and eat frittatas
Derek Dematopolis
Gayle and Linda - Purple Rain-union
Derek Dematopolis
Your neck hair makes me weak.
Won’t you enter my Acropolis
and make my yogurt Greek?
Derek. Derek.
Let’s you and me make a we-union.
Derek. Derek.
Let’s you and me make a we-union.
To-night.
To-night.
To-night.
To-night.
2 Out of 5
I’ve still got 2 out of 5, I’ve still got 2 out of 5, I’ve still got 2 out of 5 sexy parts
I’ve still got my sexy parts, and I’ve got 2 out of 5, I’ve still got 2 out of 5
Not Bad for Having Three Kids
The Ta Tas - Purple Rain-Union
(Linda:) This is down here but it should be up there
This is kind of loose and I think it might tear
(Linda:) This is lumpy ((Gayle and Angie:) Yeah it’s lumpy)
(Linda:) This is saggy ((Gayle and Angie:) Yeah it’s flabby)
When I bend down I pee a little bit
But it’s not bad, not bad for having three kids! ((Gayle:) Or three cats!)
((Gayle and Angie:) Not bad for having three kids!
((Angie:) Drum, pop, drum, pop
((Gayle and Angie:) Not bad for having three kids!
Jingle in the Jungle
Unknown - Christmas in the Car
Hoo, ha, hoo, ha (animal screeching) Hoo, ha, hoo, ha
Jingle in the jungle, hope you bringle me a bundle
Tingle on my tingle Santa, bring my favorite thingles
Some mittens for the monkeys but make sure they're pretty funky
Some leggings for the lion, but remember he's size nine
Frogs and gators and monkeys immense
Everybody jingle to the jungle dance
We have candles and lights and jingle
Slumber Party Fashion Show
Unknown - Slumber Party
Slumber party fashion show
Lookin’ good from head to toe
Slumber party fashion show
Lookin’ good from head to toe
Slumber party fashion show
Lookin’ good from head to toe
Slumber party fashion show
Ooh! Ah
Ooh! Ah
Ooh! Ah
Ooh! Ah
It’s Not Magic, It’s Tragic
Unknown - Presto Tina-o
It’s not magic, it’s tragic.
Ooh, she’ll take the straitjacket.
It’s not magic, it’s tragic.
(scatting)
It’s not magic, it’s tragic.
Ooh, she’ll take the straitjacket.
Abracadabra-ca-dab!
Gas Class
Gene - The Frond Files
Gas class!
You wanna pass gas class?
You gotta pass gas
Farts Will Set You Free
Wagstaff School students - The Frond Files
(Gene:) When you feel like school has sucked the wind out of your sails
Remember that it's cool, to use the wind that's in your tails
(Gene:) Fart, fart, fart Fart, fart, fart, fart Every fart is a work of art Don't know where to begin? Don't know where to start? Farts will set you free
(All:) It's that gas from your ass, it's that toot from your boot
That hum from your bum, it's that loot in your chute
All that air from your own derriere
Come on and set it free
'Cause farts are liberty
(Gene:) What do we want to do? (All:) Fart, fart! (Gene:) Open up your butt cheeks (All:) This is how our butts speak. (Gene:) Let's go, (All:) Fart!
(All:) It's that gas from your ass, it's that toot from your boot
That hum from your bum, it's that loot in your chute
All that air from your own derriere
Come on and set it free
'Cause farts are liberty
'Cause farts will Set you Free! 'Cause farts will set you Free!
Tammy
Unknown - Mazel-Tina
She's Tammy, she's glammy, she's just a little hammy
If she sang a song right now she'd probably win a Grammy
You know who I'm talking of So why don't you all say mazel tov, Tammy, yeah.
Chugga Chugga, Choo Choo, Happy Birthday To You
Wine Rail employees - The Kids Rob a Train
Everybody watch your backs the birthday train is on the tracks
Put some wine in your glass, 'cause your life is moving fast
So drink your day away
"The Equestranauts" Theme Song
The Belcher Family and Teddy
A bond of friendship, greater than any force in the universe,
A bond of friendship, greater than any force in the universe
Mini and Peggy-sis, flying in clouds so high
Headhorn and Chariot, come to my place tonight
Equestranauts, we're brothers forever
Equestranauts, we're bonded together
Bonded together, Equestranauts
Equestranauts
Something Smells Fishy
Linda - Wharf Horse (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part I)
You're a little fish
Calvin's a big fish
Something smells fishy
La, la, la
Mr. Dancefloor
Fanny - Wharf Horse (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part I) and World Wharf II: The Wharfening (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part II)
Who's that knocking on my door?
Ooh it's Mr. Dancefloor
Everyone is/Everybody's looking fancy
Things are about to get dancy
Nice Things Are Nice
Bob, Calvin Fischoeder, Fanny, Linda, Tina, Gene and Louise - Wharf Horse (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part I)
(Bob:) I know you're already a wealthy-ish guy
But think of what that condo money could buy
And I'd open up Bob's Beach Burgers and Fries
Oh, nice things are nice
(Calvin (spoken):) Uh-uh, not interested
(Bob:) Your own private island, a million eye patches ((Calvin:)No, I don't think so)
A gold swimming pool l to hold all of your cashes (No, sorry, Bob)
I'd hire real waiters who all have mustaches (No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no)
Oh, nice things are nice
(Fanny:) Soon you will see just how nice life can be
When you start raking in condo people's money
(Linda) Ooh, I love this dress, does it come In size three?
(Fanny (Spoken):) Uh-uh.
(Linda (Spoken):) Okay, six?
(Fanny (Spoken):) Uh-uh.
(Linda (Spoken):) Okay, ten?
(Fanny:)Oh, nice things are nice
(Tina:) I'm chained to Mr. Goiter ((Gene and Louise)La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la)
In hopes that they don't destroy her (La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la)
Okay, it's not a her, but I really really wanted it to rhyme (La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, laaaaa)
(Bob:) A legion of servants, all at your command
An army of tigers, like you always planned
(Calvin:) I could buy my own missiles to launch at Englaa (spoken:)ahah, nevermind, I'm not telling.
(Bob:) My sophisticated burgers they would understand.
(Bob and Calvin:) Oh, nice things are nice
Wonder Wharf
Linda - Wharf Horse (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part I)
Wonder Wharf, wharf of wonder
This won't end Till Bob's six feet under
He wanted things that were nice
But will he pay the ultimate price?
Wonder Wharf, Wonder Wharf
Bad Things Are Bad
Bob, Calvin, Linda, Andy Pesto, Zeke, Tammy Larsen, Randy Watkins, Regular Sized Rudy, Jimmy Pesto, Jr., Gene, Teddy, Felix and Fanny - World Wharf II: The Wharfening (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part II)
(Bob:) I never thought this is how I would go ((Calvin:) Ooh)
Here under the pier tied to Mr. Fischoe...
...Der, but looks like Linda will be a widow (Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)
Oh, bad things are bad
(Linda:)I fear that my Bob's in a terrible place
(Andy:) Maybe you'll find him inside Of this vase
(Zeke:) Maybe a lion is eating his face?
(Tammy:) Oh, bad things are bad
(Randy:) Maybe your Dad was tied up by a sailor?
(Rudy:) I'll help you look after I pump this inhaler
(Jimmy, Jr.:) Check out my pants, they are perfectly tailored
(Tina (spoken):) Oh, yeah, nice.
(Jimmy, Jr.(spoken):) Thanks.
(Gene:) Oh, bad things are bad
(Teddy:) Oh, I wish that Bob would come back
I could really use a big snack
Okay, it's not a burger but I'll just pretend it is and maybe cry
(Felix:) I did what I had to, I have no regrets
I murdered my brother for power and sex
What's this weird feeling inside of my chest?
(Fanny:) Why do you keep not looking at my breasts?
(Felix:) Oh, bad things are bad
(Bob:) Farewell, cruel world, looks like I'll die alone
(Calvin:) If only you'd purchased a better cell phone
(Bob:) And now I'll never know who wins Game of Thrones
(Bob and Calvin:) Oh Things are bad!
Season 5
Leaves
Peter Pescadero - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
Red, yellow, orange and brown
Are on the tree then they fall down
Nakatomi
Gene - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
Nakatomi, Nakatomi, Nakatomi, Nakatomi, Nakatomi, Nakatomi, Nakatomi, Na.....
Katharine Parker
Tina - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
I'm Katharine Parker and I'm super rich
And soon you will find that I'm quite a bleep
Business Man With a Business Plan
Jimmy, Jr. - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
I'm a business man with a business plan
I need a business woman with some business hands
John and Al
Regular Sized Rudy and Zeke - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
(Rudy:) Why did you throw that corpse on my car?
(Zeke:) 'Cause I'm inviting you to the party, pal
Think we're gonna be great pals
(Both:) Al and John, John and Al
Staten Island Ferry
Jocelyn, Julie, Rupa and Courtney Wheeler - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
(Jocelyn, Julie and Rupa:) This is a boat, a boat that is a ferry
Ferry on the water, Staten Island Ferry
(Courtney:) I'm a working girl, a workin' working girl, I'm a girl who's working
I work in New York City
Barefoot Cop
Gene - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
I'am a barefoot cop, oh....
Coffee
Courtney, Jocelyn, Julie - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
(Courtney:) Coffee, coffee, coffee's all I get ((Jocelyn and Julie:)Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee)
How'm I gonna get ahead (Coffee, coffee)
Grubin'
Gene - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
I'm Grubin', I'm Hans Gruber and I'm Grubin'
And sometimes that can mean shootin', Mr. Takagi in the head
Trask Industries
Tina - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
(Tina:) Hey, this is Katherine, you work for me
I've broken my leg while trying to ski
Do me a favor and fill in for me
Even though I stole your radio deal idea For Trask Industries
Fight Scene
Gene - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
Fight scene, fight scene, we're gonna have a fight scene
Head for Business
Courtney and Jimmy, Jr. - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
(Courtney:) I have a head for business and a bod for sin
(Jimmy, Jr.) Well I want both, so count me in!
The Life of the Wife of a Cop
Gene - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
Oh, the life of the wife of a cop
Makes my head spin around like a top
He's always (inaudible under speech)
I'm Holly Gennero McClane
That Johnny McClane's driving this gal insane
Oh, the life of the wife of a cop
Agent Johnson
Andy and Ollie Pesto - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
(Andy:) I'm Agent Johnson
(Ollie:) And I'm Agent Johnson
(Both:) And we're from the FBI
(Andy:) I'm Johnson
(Ollie:) He's Johnson!
(Andy:) He's Johnson
(Ollie:) I'm Johnson!
(Both:) Two fancy-footed federal guys
(Rudy:) I might just be a local cop, but will you guys back off me? (Jocelyn:) Things are getting pretty tense, does anybody want coffee?
Maybe There's a Tower
All - Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
Maybe there's a tower, somewhere up above
Filled with bearer bonds and love, where dreams don't die hard
Maybe there's a tower, somewhere up above
Filled with shoulder pads and love Where dreams can fly hard
(Courtney and Gene:) But until we can live in that imaginary world
We'll work hard or die trying, girl.
You're Best Friend
Linda and Teddy - Friends with Burger-fits
(Linda:) He crashes on your couch when he loses his job
A guy pulls a knife, and you jump in front
You take the blade right in the gut!
Ow! Then he holds your hand till the medic comes
You feed him soup when he breaks his jaw
You help him pee when he has that thing
He's your best friend.
(Teddy:) He crashes on your couch when he loses his job
He helps you pee when you've got that thing
He's your best friend
(Both:) Your best friend!
Christmas Magic
Linda and Teddy - Father of the Bob
(Linda:) Christmas magic
(Teddy:) Christmas magic
(Linda:) This time of year
(Teddy:) This time of year
(Linda:) And all the cold hungry people
(Teddy:) All those cold hungry people
(Linda:) They're dying in the streets
(Teddy:) They're dying in the streets
(Linda:) Me and my family will be warm tonight
Happy/Crappy Place
Bob, Linda, Louise Belcher and Plants - Late Afternoon in the Garden of Bob & Louise
(Bob:) Tomatoes and sweet peas and green beans It's a dream come true
(Linda:) I wanna take her stupid neck And wring it
(Louise:) That's what I want to do, too, but with him
(Bob:) The only thing greener than these plants is my thumb
(Linda and Louise:) How did we ever get stuck with these bums? The restaurants now a crappy place
(Bob:) I think I found my happy place
I'm like a British Lady in my garden And my plants agree
(Plants:) Mm-hmm!
(Louise:) He's the most annoying person that was ever born
(Linda:) Oh, God, she brought her own tea
(Bob:) I'm the world's greatest farmer Things are growing so well
(Linda and Louise:) We're living in our own personal hell The restaurant's now a crappy place
(Bob:) I think I found my happy
(Linda and Louise:) The restaurant's now a crappy, crappy, crappy, crappy
(Bob:) Happy, happy, happy, happy Place.
Darryl's Song
Girl I wish you were in all my classes (Classes)
And when we kiss We hit our glasses (Glasses)
Now let's slow dance Like molasses (Molasses)
Like mo-oh-oh-la-a-a-a-a-a-asses
Thank you, good night!
Millie's School Anthem
Wagstaff School choir - The Millie-Churian Candidate
Millie and Louise (x4)
Millie and Louise Overture
Wagstaff School marching band - The Millie-Churian Candidate
Instrumental
Jimmy, Jr. Pesto
Jimmy Pesto, Jr., Gene, Tina, Louise and Zeke - The Millie-Churian Candidate
(Jimmy, Jr.:) I'm Jimmy, Jr. Pesto
You know I am the best-o
I'm cooler than the rest-o
(Gene(spoken):) He wrote the hot guy manifesto
(Gene, Tina, Louise, Zeke:) We wish we were Jimmy, Jr. Pesto
(Jimmy, Jr.(spoken):) Key change
(Jimmy, Jr.:) I'm Jimmy, Jr. Pesto
You know me from the vest-o
And I'm on the questo-o
(Tina(spoken):) To be the president-o
(Jimmy, Jr.:) You wish you were Jimmy, Jr. Pesto
Nothin' but the Bun
Linda - The Gayle Tales
Oh, the sheriff had a piggy and he was mighty mad
He saw me a-coming and my wiener he did grab
Now I can't quit cryin' and life just ain't no fun
'Cause a fat dog ate my hot dog and I got nothin' but the bun
Lipstick on his Pickup
Gayle - The Gayle Tales
There's lipstick on his pickup, there's mascara on the wheels
I looked inside the glove box and I found a red high heel
I'll Trade You
Linda - The Gayle Tales
I'll trade you these tears for a couple of beers and this snot for a shot of whiskey
I'll trade you these lips for a couple of sips but you better not get too frisky
I Won't Go Solo on You
Gayle and Gene - The Gayle Tales
(Gayle:) Well, I got to use the restroom but there ain't a stall for two
So squeeze on in and don't breathe in 'cause I won't go solo on you
(Gene:) Well, I'd like to eat spaghetti but you want vindaloo
So I'll leave in a hurry and order some curry 'cause I won't go solo on you
(Both:) You and me we're together through and through
So if you move to China, I'll be right behind ya
'cause I won't go solo on you
Ring, Ring
Tina - Li'l Hard Dad
Ring, ring, who's this calling on the phone?
It's the Wild, is anybody home?
Tapping
Linda - Li'l Hard Dad
And a tap and a tap and a tap-tap-tap
And we're tapping and we're spinning and we're spinning and we're tapping
And a shimmy tap, a shimmy tap
A scooby tap, a scooby tap, a wiggle tap, a jiggle tap
And a shibba-dabba, shibba-dabba scooba-dooba-doo
And no one's even looking at you, what you didn't do
And a-scabba-dooba-scabba-dooba, scabba-dooba-day
And the book report's over, and you got yourself an "A"!
The Call of the Wild
Linda - Li'l Hard Dad
Up here in the Klondike, it can get pretty cold
The other dogs are looking fierce so it's time to get bold
But when life gets tough, well, you just got to smile
And better answer that phone 'cause it's the call of the wild!
Date Night
Linda - Adventures in Chinchilla-Sitting
Date night tonight, gonna go out, get some food
Have a few drinks, forget we have kids for a little bit, la, yeah
Date night tonight, yeah, gonna go out, get some food
Have a few drinks, forget we have kids for a little bit
Gonna go out, get some food
Have a few drinks, forget we have kids for a little bit, la, yeah (It's just what we do)
Date night, date night, date night, gonna go out
Don't You Like Cotton Candy
Unknown - The Runway Club
Don't you love cotton candy?
It's made of cotton and also candy
If your fingers get sticky
Eat off your hand, lickety-licky
Don't you love cotton candy?
Ah, don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't you love cotton candy?
Oh, yeah
Burgers and Fries
Tina, Gene and Louise - The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee
(Gene:) I want some burgers and fries, I want some burgers and fries
Well, there's some right here
(Tina and Louise:) Don't you tell me no lies!
Lenny Ate a Penny
Darryl - The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee
His name is Lenny, it is not Jenny
One time he ate a penny, and he thought nobody saw
Ms. Merkin Plays Gene Out
Ms. Merkin - The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee
He's a-leavin' little early, but that's okay
He seems real depressed and a...
I Don't Need Music Anymore
Gene - The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee
Maybe I'll be a baker, or a candlestick maker
Maybe I'll be a potter, or a teacher like "Welcome Back, Kotter"
Maybe I'll juggle or maybe I'll juice
Be a Top Gun and be friends with Goose
One thing I know for sure
I don't need music I don't need you anymore
I don't need music I'm gonna kick you right out the door
I Don't Need Music Anymore!
Keyboard
Unknown - The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee
Keyboard, my keyboard
Keyboard, my keyboard
BM in the PM
BM in the PM, she does her
BM in the PM
Not number one, number two
It's a potpourri for you and me, yeah (she does her)
BM in the PM, you gotta (BM, PM)
BM in the PM (When she gotta go, yeah, she gotta go, yeah)
BM in the PM (She gotta go, yeah, when she gotta go, yeah)
'Cause when she gotta go, she gotta go
She does her BM
Fallin' for Helen
I'm falling for Helen and there's no tellin'
Just how far a fella can fall for sure-fitted, strong-armed, wild-eyed widow like Helen
Buh, buh-dah-dah, buh-duhm there's no tellin'
Just how far a fella can fall for a pill-poppin', home-wreckin' long-necked widow like Helen
Bah, bah-dah-dah, bump-ba Bah, da, bah-dah-dah, ba, bup (I'm falling for Helen).
Season 6
Engaged to Hugo
Linda - Sliding Bobs
I'm enganged to Hugo
Is that good? I don't know
As long as I don't think about it too much, yeah
Fate
Tina, Gene, Louise and unknown - Sliding Bobs
(Tina:) It's called fate and it's great, that's an easy way to remember it (x2)
(Louise (spoken):) No, no, no, no (Sung:) Shave Dad's face, (Ooh, ooh) Belcher kids are erased (Ooh, ooh, ooh)
(Gene:) If Dad's lip has no hair, (Ooh, ooh) we never come out of there (Ooh, ooh)
(Tina:) It's called fate and it's great, that's an easy way to remember it
(unknown:) Call it fate (fate) or destiny (destiny)
Fate, fate, fate, fate, fate, fate, fate, fate
Sneaking Out at Night
Unknown - The Land Ship
(Ooh) Sneaking out at night
Doing wrong feels right
Singin' a Song
Jim Skillman - The Land Ship
I'll sing you a song, a song I'll sing
Hi houy, singin' a song
Hi houy, singin' a song
A humid night in the early spring
Hi houy, singin' a song
Hi houy, singin' a song
The British were comin', muckenders were they
Hi houy, Hi houy
Rock it, boys
With only one ship, our ribs they did prey
Hi houy, singin' this song
We bellowed and blundered and twiddled our wobbles
Hi houy, singin'... (cuts to 20th Century FOX logo)
I Love U So Much (It's Scary)
(Boo Boo (spoken):) Hey, girl
(Allen (spoken):) Yo, girl
(Boo Boo (spoken):) Halloween has gotten so commercialized
(Matt (spoken):) So many commercials
(Boo Boo (spoken):) Let's try to get back to what it's really about
(Matt (spoken):) What's it about, Boo Boo?
(Boo Boo (spoken):) Love
(Matt (spoken):) Oh, that's right
(Boo Boo (spoken):) Yeah
(All:) When I see you, I fall apart ...Like a zombie
I got too nervous to ask you out ...To the prom-bie
I wish I could make you mine
When I open my mouth I sound like Frankenstein
[Chorus:]
Girl it's freaky (howling sound)
My heart is weaky (hisses)
My teeth are extra sharp, my body's extra hairy
I'm running in the dark, I love you so much it's scary
Ooh, yeah, scary It's scary, girl. Rap time.
I close my eyes and you're still there
You're the girl of my dreams, nope, my nightmares
You're like Jason, Mike Myers, Carrie and Freddy
But I don't want to run away, I want to go steady
It's Halloween (roars)
I'm scared of the dark
Going door to door
To your mama's house
I can feed her
Got to get that candy
(inaudible under speech)
[Chorusx2:]
Thanksgiving for Everybody (Except for Europeans)
Linda - Gayle Makin' Bob Sled
It's Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving for everybody
Except for Europeans
Nothin' Better Than Nice Capades
Linda - Nice-Capades
Nothin' better than Nice Capades On Christmas Eve.
The Spirits of Christmas
Calvin Fischoeder - Nice-Capades
When the last present's delivered
And the snow outside's gettin' thicker
So let's open that bottle of liquor
Hey, bourbon, take me home
On bourbon, on vodka, on scotch and on gin
Take me back, let the North Pole dancing begin
It's my party I'll be naughty get more lit than a tree
Put that elf on a shelf, Merry Christmas to me
Oh, bourbon, oh, bourbon
Oh, bourbon, oh, bourbon, oh, bourbon, oh bourbon, Oh, oh, oh, oh!
Everybody now
Oh, bourbon, oh, bourbon
Come on, now.
Let's hear it, Oh bourbon! Yeah
Give me another one, okay.
Oh, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, bourbon, bour....
Taco Tuesday
Gene - Nice-Capades
Taco Tuesday was the day at school
A day that always makes me drool
But when only one taco was left
I said "Rudy, friend, you take the rest"
But the only thing left to eat
Was nuggets from the deep, deep freeze
(Spoken:)And then those reheated evil nuggets got mad and turned into an angry tornado! Oooh!
So I did what I had to do to save the world.
I ate the nuggets
I ate the evil nuggets, yeah!
I ate the nuggets
The evil, evil nuggets, yeah!
The Horshoe Crab
Tina - Nice-Capades
I kissed my family on all of their cheeks
Then I took a little walk along the beach
A horseshoe crab was on its back
Nearly having a heart attack
I didn't kick it I gently nudged it back into the sea
I didn't kick it, it had all the right number of legs when I left it, yeah
And then I took it home and fed it and took care of it and then it went to college and now it's a celebrity chef with all its legs, goodnight.
The Nicest Thing I Did All Year
Louise - Nice-Capades
I did so many nice things I can barely count 'em
I regrew the rain forest, and lost puppies I found 'em
I gave blankets to cold kids and ice cream to warm kids
Shoes to the shoeless, hair to the hairless
But the nicest thing I did all year...
You Read Her Diary
Linda - Nice-Capades
You read her diary, and tell the rest of us the juicy stuff
So we don't have to read it
Keeps our hands clean, oh, yes, it does
She's Bored
Linda - Nice-Capades
Oh, she gets bored of forecasts and more forecasts
I don't know why you watch that, Bob, she's bored
You Told Him to Put Away His Penis
Linda - Nice-Capades
You told him to put away his penis
And that was pretty cool
Amor, Por Favor (Love, Please)
Tina and Louise - The Cook, The Steve, The Gayle, & Her Lover
(English translation in parenthesis)
(Tina:) Buenos dias, ¿Cómo estás? (Good day, How are you?)
(Louise (spoken):) Love is like a beautiful flower
(Tina:) Me llamo Tina (I call myself Tina)
(Louise (spoken):) But it can also be dangerous, like a tiger with a gun
(Tina:) El perro es grande (The dog is big)
(Louise (spoken):) I mean, look at Steve. Divorce. Pain. Nothingness. Sorry, Steve
(Tina:) ¿Dónde está el baño? (Where is the bathroom?)
(Louise (spoken):) Stay single forever, protect your heart, avoid guidance counselors. The end
(Tina (spoken):) Uh, (sung;) La, la, la, Spanish, la, la, la
Cease and Desist
Unknown - Sexy Dance Healing
Cease and desist, 'cause I know I can't resist you, baby
This is not just a chance to run or keep on doing my exercises, baby
Cease and desist, 'cause you know I can't resist you, baby
As you can tell by my wrist, I'm gonna keep on doing my exercises
Do The Dirty Pigeon
Unknown - House of 1000 Bounces
[vocalizing] Do the dirty pigeon, do the dirty pigeon (x7)
Two-Butted Goat
Gene and Zeke - Stand By Gene
Two, two, two-butted goat (x6)
Butt Phone
Talkin' on a butt phone, on a butt phone (x6)
Breakin' Out
The Hormone-iums - The Hormone-iums
(Tina:) New friends on your face, it isn't yucky
You're breakin' out and you're lucky
(All (except Tina):) Breakin' out
(Tina:) Can't keep it in any more (Breakin' out)
You're bursting out of your pores (Breakin' out)
It's simple, it's pimples, you've got inside-out dimples
(All:) You're breakin' out
Body Hair: Where?, There
The Hormone-iums - The Hormone-iums
(Angela:) There's something new on me and you
Brand new fur on him and her
Hair (Where?)
There
Mono Can Cause Death
The Hormone-iums - The Hormone-iums
(Tina:) There's nothing you're missing, if you're not kissing
(All (except Tina):) Kissing is so scary, it will make you ill-ow
So if you want to kiss someone, go on and kiss your pill-ow
(Tina:) I never want to kiss, even if I have great breath
Kissing causes mono and mono can cause (Spoken:) Death
No Kissing
Tina - The Hormone-iums
No, no kissing, kissing is the worst
If you kiss me, you'll end up in a hearse
Mononucleosis
The Hormone-iums - The Hormone-iums
(Tina:) I though kissing would be heaven
So I kissed a boy (All(except Tina):) Or seven
(All:) Mononucleosis has got you on your knees
Worse than halitosis, it's a kissing disease
All your bad decisions have kicked you in your butt
(Tina:) If only I'd kept my lips shut
Huggin' and a-Kissin'
Darryl - The Hormone-iums
Well, I don't know much about huggin' and a-kissin' and a...
I Love Charades
Warren Fitzgerald - Pro Tiki/Con Tiki
I love charades, it's a fun game, I could play all day (he loves charades)
Oh, got a little pee on the seat (seat)
Ooh, got a little pee on the seat but they'll never know (they'll never know)
Ooh, got a little pee on the seat but they'll never know it was me (never know it was you)
Tall Enuff 2 Ride Your Heart
Boo Boo - Bye Bye Boo Boo
I'm tall enough to ride your heart
Keep your arms and lips inside my car
If you have a heart condition, consult your doctor before riding
Don't raise the safety bar when the car is in motion
Don't be scared, girl, I will protect you and so will the safety bar
(Ooh) I'm tall enough to ride your heart
Keep your arms and lips inside my car
(Ooh) Do not attempt to exit the car until we come to a full stop
Oh, look, they're selling a picture of us on the ride
You look really scared, not me
(Ooh) I'm tall enough to ride your heart
Keep your arms and lips inside my car
Camp
Unknown - The Horse Rider-er
Camp! (hmm hmmm hmmm hmm hmm)(x4)
Camp!
Restaurant Camp
Linda, Gene and Louise - The Horse Rider-er
Restaurant camp is the best-aurant camp
All the rest of the camps just aren't
That's why dear old restaurant camp is in our little hearts
Bad Stuff Happens in the Bathroom
Bob and Louise - Glued, Where's My Bob?
(Bob:) Bad stuff happens in the bathroom
I'm just glad that it happens in a vacuum
Can't let them see me with my pants down
Coasters magazine is gonna be my big chance now
But I'll be outta here in no time
I'll be doing interviews and feelin' just fine
Today is gonna be a great day
I'll do Coasters magazine and blow everyone away
(Louise:) Let's be clear
I did absolutely nothing wrong, I'm not to blame, it's not my fault
This is just to say
If Gene had pooped like every day, this would have all just blown away
But he'll be out of there in no time
No one's gonna blame me, I'll be doing just fine
Today is gonna be a great day
If Teddy can't unstick my dad, I'll find another way
Season 7
The Forgiving Type
Belcher Family - Flu-ouise
(Louise:) I used to trust my family
(All (except Louise):) We're sorry, so sorry
(Louise:) Now they're just a sham to me
(All (except Louise):) Did we mention that we're sorry?
(Louise:) Destroyed my favorite thing in the world
(All (except Louise):) This wasn't our best day
(Louise:) Broke the heart of this little girl
(All (except Louise):) You can slap us all in the face
(Louise:) No amount of slaps can make this right
(All (except Louise):) Oh, no, that's not good
(Louise:) I guess I'm not the forgiving type
Fortress is the Worstest - Part 1
Bob - Flu-ouise
That fortress is the worstest, and I think it's kind of cursed us
You can see it has immersed us in this darkness
I built a beautiful sun deck, up there in the trees
You could bring a good book there, and feel the gentle breeze
It had a lovely view of the vicinity
But then they built that fortress there and ruined it for me
Fortress is the Worstest - Part 2
Linda and Louise - Flu-ouise
(Linda:) That fortress is the worstest and it's really kind of cursed us
You can see it has immersed us in this darkness
I threw the best swamp parties
I'd serve wine and calamaris
And we'd drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and dink and...
(Louise (spoken):) Yup, got it, we got it.
(Linda (spoken):) Hold on, I'm not done (sung) And we drink and drink and drink and drink Come on, everybody! Drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink and drink all day!
But then the fortress made it dark and cold and that is not okay! Yeah!
Fortress is the Worstest - Part 3
Tina and Gene - Flu-ouise
That fortress is the worstest and it's really kind of cursed us...
Nobody's Gettin' In
Louise and Bad Kuchi Kopi - Flu-ouise
(Louise:) Inside of these four walls of stone I'm finally all on my own
'Cause nobody's gettin' in
No one's on the guest list, the bouncers are my two fists
No one's gonna hurt this gal 'cause nobody's gettin' in
(Bad Kuchi Kopi (spoken):) Scat break down!
(sung) Skiddy bop-ba, skiddy bop-ooh
Skiddy bop-bop, bop ba-bop ooh
Scatting dat dat, da da da dah!
Push That Button
Good Kuchi Kopi - Flu-ouise
You think living behind these walls
Means you can't get hurt at all
But that just makes it dark outside
And only you can bring in the light
There's just one thing that will make this right
Push that button, push that button, become the forgiving type
Flu-ouise
Unknown - Flu-ouise
I'm dreaming of a world where you forgive your family
You seem like a girl that would choose Good Kuchi Kopi over Bad Kuchi Kopi, yeah
That flu bug took you on a trip, a crazy tough ride
But the sickness made you better and I'm glad you didn't die
Flu-ouise (x2)
We're Going Saling
Linda - Sea Me Now
We're going sailing, on a motorboat
Do, do, do (multiple times)
Halloween's Coming
Linda - Teen-a Witch
Halloween's coming, kids are trickin', kids are treatin'
Ghosts gonna spook, pumpkins gonna pump, la
Witchy-Witchy
Unknown - Teen-a Witch
Ha, ha, ha, ha
Witchy-witchy, pumpkin snatchy
Witchy-witchy, cursed by Jackie
Witchy-witchy, eating candy
Witchy-witchy, Jack-O-Landy
Witchy-witchy, witchy-witchy
Witchy-witchy, witchy-witchy
Witchy-witchy, witch
Here Comes the Meat Plane
Jack Conway, Linda and singers - They Serve Horses, Don't They?
(Jack:) Here comes the meat plane (Linda joins in:) Right to your counter (ooooohhh)
(Jack:) Here comes the meat plane (Linda joins in:) Right to your counter (ooooohhh) (Jack:) ...again
(Jack:) Here comes Jack, walking through your doorway
(singers:) Here comes Jack, right through your doorway
Going to the Accountant
Linda - Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?
La, la, la
Going to the accountant, gonna do our taxes
At the last minute, we're adults
Responsible adults, yeah!
Are You the One?
Tina - Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?
The briefest of glances can start the biggest romances
Our eyes were doing the dances and they were making advances
When our eyes met, I was like hey, now I bet that Joe could be the one
Are you the one?
Gerald
Linda - Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?
Gerald, I'm your friend
Through thick and through thin, we'll do it together.
It's Not Selfish to Love Shellfish!
Tim - Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?
Nothing lifts a pal up like a scallop
It's not selfish to love shellfish!
Is That Spark We Had Gone?
Tina - Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?
Is that spark we had gone?
I was once so sure, now I fear I was wrong
You Can't Spell Christmas Without Us
Linda, Oscar, August, Samuel and Randolph - The Last Gingerbread House on the Left
(Linda:) I can spell Christmas without a you
(Oscar joins in:) But that would break my heart in two
(All:) You can spell Christmas without me
But that would be a tragedy
We need S and U's this time of year, because...
Because we can't spell Christmas without "us" (x2)
Others
Cosmos is On
The Belcher Family - Bento Box Entertainment YouTube channel
(Louise:) We've got some new to share so let's have a talk
(Tina:) In March and April and May were on at seven o'clock
(All:) But it's not our faaaaaaaaaaault, it's not our fault
It's 'cause Cosmos is ooooooooooooooon, It's 'cause Cosmos is ooooooooooooooon
Stayin' Up Till Midnight
The Belcher Family - Behind Bob's Burgers YouTube channel
(Louise:) Stayin' up till Midnight
(Tina:) Stayin' up till Midnight
(Louise:) Stayin' up till Midnight, Uhh!
(Gene:) Stayin' up till Midnight, Uhh!
(Louise:) On New Years Eve its alright
(Bob and Linda:) On New Years Eve its alright
(Louise:) You get to stay up after Midnight
(Bob, Linda and Gene:) You get to stay up after Midnight
(Tina:) But I'm tired, uh so tired
(Louise:) No! Stayin' up till midnight
(Tina joins in:) Stayin' up till midnight
(Louise:) Uhh!
(Gene joins in:) Stayin; up till midnight
(Linda joins in:) Stayin' up till midnight
(All:) Stayin' up till Midnight (x2)
Beefin'
Linda Belcher - Adult Swim Promo
Bob's beefin'
Tina's beefin'
Gene and Louise are beefin'
Little old me is beefin' too
But I wonder
Who is beefin' who?
Aah
B is for Burgers
An Opera Singer - Adult Swim Promo
B is for the burgers that you gave me
O is for your onions, sweet and savory
B is for your buns, they're so impressive
The apostrophe s makes the whole damn thing possessive
Put it all together they spell Bob's Burgers
Real Songs
Season 1
If You Were Here
Thompson Twins - Sheesh! Cab, Bob?
Playing when Tina kisses Jimmy Jr.
Season 2
The Ballad of Gilligan's Island
Linda (written by Sherwood Schwartz and George Wyle) - Burgerboss
Linda hums the tune when she arrives at the yacht club.
One Way or Another
Gayle (originally performed by Blondie) - Dr. Yap (Episode)
Playing when Gayle attempts to seduce Bob repeatedly.
Stuck in the Middle With You
Stealers Wheel - Moody Foodie
Plays while Reggie gives the Moody Foodie a wet Willie.
Fantasy
Earth, Wind and Fire - Bad Tina
Playing when Tina reads out her friend fiction to the school.
Season 3
Nisi Dominus
Vivaldi - Ear-sy Rider
Plays while Louise searches for her hat and ends up at the dump.
Amazing Grace
Teddy (written by John Newton) - Full Bars
Sung by Teddy (with erroneous lyrics) when he buries his guinea pig, Frances.
We Go Together
Courtney Wheeler (originally from the musical "Grease") - The Unbearable Like-Likeness of Gene
Playing during a montage where Courtney attempts to get close to Gene.
Father Christmas
The Kinks - God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins
Plays during a montage of Chet's window displays.
Silent Night
Unknown (written by Franz Xaver Gruber and Joseph Mohr)
Plays while Chet thinks about Nadine.
You're the Best
Hugo Habercore (originally performed by Joe Esposito) - Nude Beach
Plays during a montage of Bob and Hugo competing in the 'Nudecathlon'.
Concerto No. 2 in G minor, Op. 8, RV 315
From Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" - O.T.: The Outside Toilet
Plays when Gene activates the bidet function on the toilet. tune is later whistled by both Gene and Tim Jones (Max Flush).
Baby Hold On
Eddie Money - O.T.: The Outside Toilet
Plays when Gene says "that's what I call easy money", the toilet misinterprets it as 'Eddie Money' and proceeds to play the track. A cover version of the song performed by John Roberts plays over the end credits.
Fame
Irene Cara - Two for Tina
Plays on the radio while Josh and his classmates practice their streetdancing.
24 Caprices for Solo Violin, Op. 1 No. 4 in C minor: Maestoso
Paganini - The Kids Run the Restaurant
Plays during Bob and Mr Fischoeder's game of Rock Paper Scissors.
The Star Spangled Banner
Tina (National anthem of the United States of America) - The Unnatural
Sung by Tina before the baseball game Bob organizes to prove that the Deuce is a fake.
Season 4
Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)
John Roberts (originally performed by C+C Music Factory feat. Freedom Williams) - A River Runs Through Bob
An easy listening cover of the 1990 hit plays when the camping couple begin their 'ritual trust', introduced as their ritual trust music.
You Oughta Know
Bob (originally performed by Alanis Morissette) - My Big Fat Greek Bob
Bob sings the song on the karaoke machine after joining the students for some beer at the frat house.
March No. 1 in D
Linda (From Elgar's "Pomp and Circumstance Marches") - Bob and Deliver
Linda sings about Teddy graduating to the tune of the "Land of Hope and Glory" section.
Jingle Bells
Linda, Tina, Gene and Louise (written by James Lord Pierpoint) - Christmas in the Car
Linda sings the song while honking the horn to get Gary (unseen at this point) to stop honking his.
Silent Night
Linda (written by Franz Xaver Gruber and Joseph Mohr) - Christmas in the Car
Linda sings the song after the clock strikes midnight, she is interrupted by Gary's truck reversing into the car leading her to sing "Holy craaap" rather than "Holy night". Second appearance in the series.
Night on Bald Mountain
Modest Mussorgsky - Easy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercial
Plays during the Burgerzilla sequence of the family's commerical on the end credits.
Macarena
Unknown, with additional instrumentation from The Klezbians (originally performed by Los Del Rio) - Mazel-Tina
Performed by The Klezbians as part of the Bat Mitzvah entertainment
Chicken Dance
The Klezbians (written by Werner Thomas) - Mazel-Tina
Performed by The Klezbians as part of the Bat Mitzvah entertainment
Hava Nagila
Tina (traditional) - Mazel-Tina
Sung by Tina over the end credits, instrumental version plays during Tammy's hora.
The Streets of Cairo
Teddy (Sol Bloom) - Uncle Teddy
Sung by Teddy with lyrics about there possibly being underwear being in the pipe under the kitchen sink
Season 5
Dim All the Lights
Donna Summer (with Bob singing over) - Dawn of the Peck
Bob puts the song on while at home alone, he begins to dance and sing to it.
Adagio in G minor
Albinoni - Dawn of the Peck
Plays during Bob's soliloquy with the turkey baster.
Love Is in Control (Finger on the Trigger)
Donna Summer (with Bob singing over) - Dawn of the Peck
Plays over the end credits, again with Bob singing and dancing.
The Jack
AC/DC - Can't Buy Me Math
Plays on the radio while Bob stripteases.
Wonder
Natalie Merchant (sung by Teddy) - The Millie-Churian Candidate
Sung by Teddy over the end credits.
Ride of the Valkyries
Richard Wagner - Li'l Hard Dad
Plays during the helicopter battle, a reference to Apocalypse Now.
Maneater
Hall and Oates - Itty Bitty Ditty Committee
Sung by Darryl in the computer lab.
Up, Up and Away
Nancy Sinatra - The Oeder Games
Played during the montage of Bob defeating the other tenants.
99 Red Balloons
Nena - The Oeder Games
Sung by H. Jon Benjamin over the end credits.
Season 6
Joy to the World
Traditional - Nice-Capades
Plays as a Muzak version at OMG Mall.
Good King Wenceslas
Traditional - Nice-Capades
Plays as a Muzak version at OMG Mall.
Just What I Needed
The Cars - The Hormone-iums
Sung by Tina over the end credits.
Season 7
Beyond the Sea
Bobby Darin - Sea Me Now
Sung by Teddy over the end credits.
Ave Maria
Schubert - "The Quirkducers"
Sung by a student auditioning for "The Quirky Turkey."
Deck the Halls
Traditional - "The Last Gingerbread House on the Left"
Sung by Linda, Tina, Gene, Louise, and Teddy while caroling.
Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
Charles Wesley - "The Last Gingerbread House on the Left"
Sung by Linda, albeit with erroneous lyrics.
Adeste Fideles
Unknown - "The Last Gingerbread House on the Left"
Sung by Oscar. Latin version of "O Come, All Ye Faithful."