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Sacred Cow

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''Sacred Cow''
Season 1, Episode 3
Production Code: 1ASA04
Sacred Cow
Written by
Nora Smith
Directed by
Jennifer Coyle
TV Rating - TV 14 DLV
First Aired: January 23, 2011
List of Season 1 Episodes
Crawl Space
Sexy Dance Fighting

Sacred Cow is the third episode in Season 1, being the third overall. It first aired on January 23, 2011. Larry Murphy, Todd Barry, Paul F. Tompkins and Brendon Small guest star.


When a controversial documentary filmmaker places a live cow outside of the family restaurant to make a statement, Bob is livid when it starts to scare away customers. However, to everyone's surprise, Bob becomes attached to the cow and treats the cow like a member of the family.


Bob celebrates the restaurant's 100,000 burger and puts it on sale for half-price. named Randy starts filming his new documentary outside the restaurant, and ties a cow, named "Moo-Lissa" (a male cow with a blonde wig on it) outside the restaurant. Bob sees this, and Randy explains his challenge for him: he can kill Moo-Lissa and make her into a burger, or let her live; he is to make his decision when a timer placed outside the restaurant, called the "Cow-ntdown", stops. Louise begins calling Bob a murderer attracting more attention to him. Putting Moo-Lissa outside the restaurant backfires on Randy when it starts attracting customers for Bobs Burgers Bob has a nightmare where he is in court, accused of killing Moo-Lissa, and loses the case. He wakes up and sees it is raining outside and finds that Randy has left Moo-Lissa tied-up outside in the rain. Feeling sorry for Moo-Lissa Bob decides to let Moo-Lissa into the house. While the children react positively to the idea, Linda demands that Bob to put her back outside. However, they fail to get Moo-Lissa down the stairs, and as a result Moo-Lissa ends up staying inside with the Belchers. Randy finds Bob with the cow inside and reminds him he has got 2 days until the Cow-ntdown ends and to make his decision. The next morning, Linda reveals that she successfully let Moo-Lissa out of the house (by putting her on a mattress with socks on), only to discover Moo-Lissa missing.

Meanwhile, Tina sees some of Moo-Lissa's feces and thinks it looks like a smiley face. Tina believes that Moo-Lissa is trying to talk to her using her feces. Louise takes advantage of Tina and begins to make faces using a frosting bag. She makes a fake angry face and Tina begins wondering what shes done to bother Moo-Lissa.

With Moo-Lissa stolen, the Belcher family and the film crew team up to look for her, and discover that the cow was taken by a couple for their run down petting zoo, Mother Goose's Discount Petting Zoo. That night, they take her back, and get back to the restaurant in time for the timer to end and for Bob to make his decision. However, Bob says he wants more time, leading to an argument between him and Randy. As they argue, they fail to notice that Moo-Lissa is walking across the road into the path of a moving van. The van's driver is able to hit the brakes right before Moo-Lissa gets hit, but Moo-Lissa dies shortly after of a "cow heart attack." Tina is saddened over his death, but discovers his feces shaped into a heart. Bob faints after her death and enters his subconscious, where he is in heaven with Moo-Lissa (voiced by Todd Barry). Moo-Lissa tells Bob that he wants him to make a burger out of him, and they share a passionate kiss. The next day, Bob holds a funeral for Moo-Lissa at the restaurant and decides to name his 100,000th burger the "Rest in Peas Burger" as the crew films it for the documentary.

Episode Navigation vte
Season Episodes
0 The Demo
1 Human FleshCrawl SpaceSacred CowSexy Dance FightingHamburger Dinner TheaterSheesh! Cab, Bob?Bed & BreakfastArt CrawlSpaghetti Western and MeatballsBurger WarWeekend at Mort'sLobsterfestTorpedo
2 The BelchiesBob Day AfternoonSynchronized SwimmingBurgerbossFood Truckin'Dr. YapMoody FoodieBad TinaBeefsquatch
3 Ear-Sy RiderFull BarsBob Fires the KidsMutiny on the WindbreakerAn Indecent Thanksgiving ProposalThe DeepeningTina-Rannosaurus WrecksThe Unbearable Like-Likeness of GeneGod Rest Ye Merry Gentle-MannequinsMother Daughter Laser RazorNude BeachBroadcast Wagstaff School NewsMy Fuzzy ValentineLindapendent WomanO.T. The Outside ToiletTopsyTwo for TinaIt Snakes a VillageFamily FracasThe Kids Run the RestaurantBoyz 4 NowCarpe MuseumThe Unnatural
4 A River Runs Through BobFort NightSeaplane!My Big Fat Greek BobTurkey in a CanPurple Rain-UnionBob and DeliverChristmas in the CarSlumber PartyPresto Tina-OEasy Com-mercial, Easy Go-mercialThe Frond FilesMazel TinaUncle TeddyThe Kids Rob a TrainI Get Psy-chic Out of YouThe EquestranautsAmbergrisThe Kids Run AwayGene It OnWharf Horse (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part I)World Wharf II: The Wharfening (or How Bob Saves/Destroys the Town - Part II)
5 Work Hard or Die Trying, GirlTina and the Real GhostFriends with Burger-fitsDawn of the PeckBest BurgerFather of the BobTina Tailor Soldier SpyMidday RunSpeakeasy RiderLate Afternoon in the Garden of Bob & LouiseCan't Buy Me MathThe Millie-Churian CandidateThe Gayle TalesLi'l Hard DadAdventures in Chinchilla-SittingThe Runway ClubThe Itty Bitty Ditty CommitteeEat, Spray, LindaHousetrapHawk & ChickThe Oeder Games
6 Sliding BobsThe Land ShipThe HaunteningGayle Makin' Bob Sled · Nice-Capades · The Cook, The Steve, The Gayle, & Her LoverThe Gene and Courtney ShowSexy Dance HealingSacred CouchLice Things Are LiceHouse of 1000 BouncesStand by GeneWag the HogThe Hormone-iumsPro Tiki/Con TikiBye Bye Boo BooThe Horse Rider-erSecret Admiral-irerGlued, Where's My Bob?
7 Flu-ouiseSea Me NowTeen-a WitchThey Serve Horses, Don't They?Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?The QuirkducersThe Last Gingerbread House on the LeftEx MachTinaBob ActuallyThere's No Business Like Mr. Business BusinessA Few 'Gurt MenLike Gene for ChocolateThe Grand Mama-pest HotelAquaticismAin't Miss Debatin'Eggs for DaysZero LARP ThirtyThe Laser-inthThelma & Louise Except Thelma is LindaMom, Lies, and VideotapeParaders of the Lost Float
Summer Special 2017 TBA
8 Brunchsquatch
Unknown season Into the MildThe Wolf of Wharf StreetSit Me Baby One More TimeThe Silence of the LouiseCheer Up Sleepy GeneBoywatchY Tu Ga-Ga TambienThe Taking of Funtime One Two ThreeThanks-HoardingThe BleakeningThe Date EscapeThe Secret Ceramics Room of SecretsSleeping with the FrenemyMission Impos-slug-bleV for Valentine-dettaThe Hurt Soccer
See also: Episode Guide

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