"Bed & Breakfast" is the seventh episode in Season 1, being the seventh episode overall.
With a long weekend approaching, Linda sees an opportunity to capitalize on the tourist traffic by starting a bed and breakfast. But when the reservations are filled by some shady character, Louise plants listening devices all over the house to keep an ear on what's happening.
Linda arrives back at the restaurant after shopping for materials for a bed and breakfast she's opening. Bob disagrees with this business venture, not only because his children have to move into his room so the customers can sleep in their rooms, but also because Linda puts in all of her efforts to entertain the customers and if Linda feels her efforts are not appreciated enough, she snaps. Linda becomes angry and she denies Bob's claims and says she is very good at running bed and breakfasts. Tina and Gene have to move into their parents room for the guests to arrive An Indian-British ethologist named Javed Fazel who will be sleeping in Tina's room, Ed Samuels and his wife Nora. Linda forces them to participate more in the business such as telling each other embarrassing moments however, Javed, Ed and Nora aren't enjoying it and wished they were at a different bed and breakfast. Linda dislikes the guests while Louise is happily going to sleep in her room on her own.
The next morning, Bob is relieved to get back to work to avoid the guests and talks to Teddy about it. Teddy praises the bed and breakfast to Linda and she suggests that he should be her guest (and the only perfect guest) by using Louise's room as his room. Bob is unsure about Louise's reaction to it, possibly she would murder Bob and Linda. She locates Teddy into Louise's room and Louise looses her temper as she vows vengeance to Teddy. During a wine and cheese mix, Linda forces Javed to join but he has to watch his insects to mate with the queen (Tina comes along with him to watch) and Louise threatens Teddy that he has one hour to leave her room or she'll retaliate. An hour later, Louise sprays Javed's pheromones on Teddy's bed while a surprised Linda discovers the Samuels are performing BDSM in bed. While her family is asleep, Louise snakes out and sends Javed's beetles to mate due to the pheromones on him.
Teddy wakes up, unaware of the beetles covering his face and scared the family and Javed of his appearance. Linda blames Louise for her actions and grounds Louise, sending her to Linda's room and locking the door. Teddy reacts nothing to it but mentions his only fear is costumed characters because a man dressed up as a seal was having affair on his ex-wife. Louise overhears what Teddy said through the air vent and calls Party Pals, a costumed character company to order dozens of them to arrive at the restaurant. Linda upgrades Teddy to platinum status, locks the other guests inside their rooms (the Samuels were going to leave) until her ice cream social and orders bob to make a bacon burger for Teddy. The costumed characters arrive at the restaurant, causing Teddy to beat them up. Bob settles it and explains to Linda that Teddy just beaten up costumed characters and locked the unappreciative guests in their rooms but Linda lost the key so she apologizes to Louise who breaks in back to her room and begs her to unlock the guests doors. Louise unlocks Javed's room who was unaware of the door locked the whole time and discover the Samuels are stuck when attempting to climb down out of a window. Linda helps them even forcing them to leave their e-mail addresses and recommend it to their friends. Everything becomes settled as the guests leave, the costumed characters leave and also getting paid and Teddy overcame his fears by going out with an owl costumed person (who he thought it was a woman, but it was really a man).
- "Bed & Breakfast" on IMDb
- "Bed & Breakfast" press release via The Futon Critic
- "Bed & Breakfast" script via Springfield! Springfield!
- "Bed & Breakfast" review at The A.V. Club